Muhammad al-Tabal

Never in my life did I imagine that my motivation to achieve my dream would be cancer. Sometimes, the truth is bitter; but how beautiful it is when you change what is bitter into something sweet.

My name is Muhammad al-Tabal. I’m a 23 year old journalism student at Tripoli University.

When I was a child, I was often told that my looks could make a perfect doctor. I enjoyed hearing such a compliment since doctors always have everyone’s respect and admiration. Yet, my enjoyment was somehow incomplete. I realized that these compliments and my self-satisfaction were not aligned.

After earning my preparatory certificate, I was forced to pick life sciences as my high school major in order to be prepared to study medicine. Studying life sciences and medicine was a trend- as if becoming a doctor was the only way to earn one’s value in society.

I graduated high school with a high GPA. Everyone was very happy for me, but I hadn’t reached my ultimate happiness. Deep down, I knew that I didn't want to spend my years roaming the dark hallways of hospitals wearing white. White coats remind me of death.

I stepped out of my teenage days and into my journey as a young man. I was waiting to start university and enroll in the Medicine Faculty when everything turned upside down in one night. I can’t recall exactly what happened. All I remember is that I suddenly felt something was preventing my body from responding normally.

My body temperature increased and reached 39°C, negatively affecting my brain function. My body started acting weird and I eventually passed out. My family and I knew that these symptoms weren’t new. They were the results of three years of recklessness. I travelled to Jordan where I was diagnosed with leukemia. I started chemotherapy on the same day. My body failed to cope with fatigue, so I was taken to the intensive care unit.

I clearly remember the doctor telling me that there was no hope for me to heal. He even suggested that I return to Libya so my family could start preparing my funeral. I was at the crossroads of life and death and I had no clue which direction my life would take. That’s when I asked myself: “If a miracle happens and I survive, how will I spend my life?"

I made my decision while lying on my deathbed chained up with tubes and needles. I promised myself that if Allah blesses me with a long life, the first thing I will do is quit medicine and pursue journalism. I spent a year and a half travelling from one country to another for treatment. After seven rounds of chemotherapy, I returned to Libya feeling grateful to Allah for a miracle that stunned doctors.

I returned home with a new spirit, a healthy body and a determined mindset. I wanted to start a new chapter of my life; however, circumstances refused to be on my side. One week after my return, I was forced to resume my medical school journey. I found myself drowning in piles of medical books in no time. I was overwhelmed with study and private lessons. I spent two years trying my best to follow the wishes of those who thought they knew what’s best for me. Finally, I reached a point where enough was enough. I decided to break the chains of depression and drag myself to a safe shore. In 2018, I dropped out of medical school and started studying journalism in the Faculty of Arts and Media.

No one in my family supported my decision, but I set my mind to it. Following my passion was not a battle easier than cancer. For me, the look of pity society gives people is a cancer that feeds on their dreams and ambitions. If you think outside the box, you're simply doomed.

I finally feel free today. I’m walking towards a future that I designed with my bare hands. I’m fulfilling my dreams and accomplishing what, for so long, I thought was impossible. I have worked at several radio and television broadcasting companies. I have published my writings on many social media platforms. My voice has been heard through audio books, advertisements and podcasts. In the future, I plan to host TV shows that inspire those who have lost hope and give a voice to the voiceless. I’m pretty sure that the best is yet to come.